.: welcome :.
I've moved to Eljay.
This blog is kept for archiving purposes.
#
Kepo-ness
# Kepo-hits
I wanna cry. Can I?? Sheeshhh I oredi did. I look sooo ugly when I cried. I'm such a despo. I'm such a crybaby. The more I tried to forget all those that had happened, the more I couldn't help it. I'm just terrified about what had happened, might just happened again. Though that incident happened wayyy back in 1990s.. but I still feel the pang of it. And I could vividly recalled those times each time I'm depressed about this shit called "friendship". Because I tried hard to please a so-called best friend at that time, I fell out with her, eventually. All because of a small mistake, and she couldn't accept that mistake i did. Now.. 8 odd years later, I feel that this things are just about to happen to me again.
I changed from a damned egoist to a not-so-egoist. Why?? because I learnt to forgive and forget. I learnt to trust people too, which I did not because of incidents that involved trust. But after I trusted people.. I think that trust is gone. Now I am the "lembek" Ain. Where have that bold Ain gone? The Ain who doesn't care about what people think or say about her..She's drained. And along with that is the loud and cheerful Ain. I missed that Ain. Will some people please bring that Ain to life again??? Because the new Ain is really tired of her life.
Isn't it funny that suddenly no one shares their stories with you? Isn't it awkward when suddenly you don't speak to people who you used to? Isn't it an irony??? You people are reading this, by the way.. And you people are going to bitched about me time and again. Saying that Ain is sooo self-centred. She wants people to pay attention to her only. She talk, she doesn't care about people's feelings. I just want us to be like we used to be.
Go you people, if you hate me. And do tell me in my face that you people don't wanna be friends with me anymore. I'll just shut up once I hear that from you people. And I promise I will never intrude in your lives anymore. But if you people still regards me as your friend, let's just resolve this matter. I hate that silent aura. I hate to be alone again. I missed you people.. I seriously do missed those times when we used to laugh together. Shared secrets together. Eat together. Window-shopping together. Let's just stop that hinting to either any of us.
Because I don't want to grow old each year with that same sorrow that engulfed me all these years. Because that we are friends, I see the world like never before. I changed my negative perceptions to positive ones. I learnt to give and take and enjoy myself at the same time. I swallowed my pride to try resolve this.
mawarhitam
kept in the heart
5:28 PM|||
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